Wednesday, April 16, 2008
More Equine Humor
Thank you, Lauren, for providing us with a selection of horse truths!
People who don't take care of their own horses will be the first ones to
tell you how to care for yours.
A handsome horse who's badly behaved will become a lot less attractive
in about 15 min.
People who think they have nothing more to learn about riding, hit the
ground the hardest.
Children and ponies are natural allies and often have identical
dispositions.
The richest horse people often look the poorest.
The closeness of a horse is one of the sweetest smells in the world.
A solitary ride through the bush is more beneficial then six months with
the best psychiatrist.
The worse a person rides the more likely they are going to blame it on
the horse.
The best thing about going to the barn first thing in the morning is
that horses don't care how you look.
If a dealer insists a horse is worth twice what he's asking he's
usually worth half that much.
The best way to appreciate how another person rides is to get on their
horse.
It is not wise to argue with something that outweighs you by 1,100 pounds.
I'd rather have a horse with a perfect mind then a perfect head.
When someone asks you if you like their horse, always say yes.
The happiest people I know own horses, dogs, cats and at least one
deranged goat.
If you're looking for the perfect horse you will never own one.
Owning a horse can either make a marriage or break it.
You shouldn't talk about your first place ribbon to someone that came in
second.
If someone says that horse is athletic, it has a BIG buck.
If we need rain, schedule a show.
I've never warmed up to someone that didn't want to walk down to the
stables.
A clean stable and a sparkling horse are among life's great pleasures.
No matter how badly behaved you are, your horse always gives you a
second chance.
A more expensive horse doesn't make a better one.
Losing a horse can break your heart, but it will have been worth it.
People who don't take care of their own horses will be the first ones to
tell you how to care for yours.
A handsome horse who's badly behaved will become a lot less attractive
in about 15 min.
People who think they have nothing more to learn about riding, hit the
ground the hardest.
Children and ponies are natural allies and often have identical
dispositions.
The richest horse people often look the poorest.
The closeness of a horse is one of the sweetest smells in the world.
A solitary ride through the bush is more beneficial then six months with
the best psychiatrist.
The worse a person rides the more likely they are going to blame it on
the horse.
The best thing about going to the barn first thing in the morning is
that horses don't care how you look.
If a dealer insists a horse is worth twice what he's asking he's
usually worth half that much.
The best way to appreciate how another person rides is to get on their
horse.
It is not wise to argue with something that outweighs you by 1,100 pounds.
I'd rather have a horse with a perfect mind then a perfect head.
When someone asks you if you like their horse, always say yes.
The happiest people I know own horses, dogs, cats and at least one
deranged goat.
If you're looking for the perfect horse you will never own one.
Owning a horse can either make a marriage or break it.
You shouldn't talk about your first place ribbon to someone that came in
second.
If someone says that horse is athletic, it has a BIG buck.
If we need rain, schedule a show.
I've never warmed up to someone that didn't want to walk down to the
stables.
A clean stable and a sparkling horse are among life's great pleasures.
No matter how badly behaved you are, your horse always gives you a
second chance.
A more expensive horse doesn't make a better one.
Losing a horse can break your heart, but it will have been worth it.
Labels: horse humor
Monday, April 7, 2008
What Painting and Body Clipping Have in Common
A good friend of mine sent this to me, and I thought those of us who have been covered in horse hair would enjoy it! :)
What Painting and Body Clipping Have in Common
1. They always look much easier than they are
2. They always take way longer than you think
2a. Prep X5
2b. Detail & touchup X3
2c. Cleanup X2
3. You never know what color you'll end up with
3a. Bays turn anything from mouse dun to buckskin, and
some chestnuts turn pink
3b. According to the paint chip your living room should be
taupe, it's actually lavender -- pretty but not what you
had in mind.
4. You always think that this time with a little more care, time and
expertise the job will turn out better (but it never does).
5. Halfway through, you will have mechanical failure (the clippers
will heat up or the roller will stop rolling -- mopping paint on a
wall gives an interesting but not very attractive texture).
6. Just before mechanical failure, your hands will start to cramp
from holding the roller/clippers
7. You have to be a teenage gymnast to get in the tight places
(the belly and between the front legs or inside the linen
closet).
8. No matter how careful you are, it's really messy (at least
hair washes off in the shower, paint doesn't)
The differences? You don't have to bribe the linen closet with treats to stand still and the paint mistakes won't grow out with the summer coat.
What Painting and Body Clipping Have in Common
1. They always look much easier than they are
2. They always take way longer than you think
2a. Prep X5
2b. Detail & touchup X3
2c. Cleanup X2
3. You never know what color you'll end up with
3a. Bays turn anything from mouse dun to buckskin, and
some chestnuts turn pink
3b. According to the paint chip your living room should be
taupe, it's actually lavender -- pretty but not what you
had in mind.
4. You always think that this time with a little more care, time and
expertise the job will turn out better (but it never does).
5. Halfway through, you will have mechanical failure (the clippers
will heat up or the roller will stop rolling -- mopping paint on a
wall gives an interesting but not very attractive texture).
6. Just before mechanical failure, your hands will start to cramp
from holding the roller/clippers
7. You have to be a teenage gymnast to get in the tight places
(the belly and between the front legs or inside the linen
closet).
8. No matter how careful you are, it's really messy (at least
hair washes off in the shower, paint doesn't)
The differences? You don't have to bribe the linen closet with treats to stand still and the paint mistakes won't grow out with the summer coat.
Labels: horse humor
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