You Know Your're a Horse Person When
Home Life and Personal Tastes
There are wood shavings at the bottom of your washing machine.
Your house has a “mud room” that actually contains mud.
The vacuum in your barn is used far more frequently than the vacuum in your house.
Horse magazine subscriptions: 12. “Lifestyle” magazine subscriptions: 0.
Tractor Supply ranks high on the list of your favorite stores.
All of your favorite TV shows are on RFD-TV.
Your spouse gives you a “seat saver” for Christmas, and you consider it a really thoughtful gift.
Your horse receives three different types of supplements every day, but you can’t remember to take a daily vitamin.
There is at least one horse product catalog in every bathroom in your home.
Your warehouse club shopping list includes several gallons of corn oil.
The potted plants in front of your barn look a lot better than your houseplants.
You use the same jar of peanut butter for making sandwiches and administering pills.
Your wallet is stolen, and your first concern is your amateur card.
Your house features lots of framed professional photographs of your horses, but you forgot to fill out the order form for your child’s school pictures.
You have a display case dedicated to belt buckles.
You can rattle off the pedigree of every horse on your place, but have no interest in family genealogy.
The most frequently consulted reference book in your home: “The Horse Owner’s Veterinary Manual.”
You will drive all night after work to get to a show on time, but it’s “too far” to visit family who live 50 miles away.
Your clothes dryer’s lint trap contains alfalfa.
The sole contents of your safety deposit box are equine registration papers.
A typical family mealtime discussion includes worming and/or what the cat left on the back steps.
Your grocery list includes Karo syrup, and you have no plans to bake anything.
Your show saddle cost more than your engagement ring.
You are a rat trap expert.
There is a boot scraper outside every door in your home.
Vehicles
The church youth group refuses to take your vehicle at its car wash unless you agree to pay double.
You would never consider paying $50K for a luxury sedan, but a towing vehicle? Now, that’s a different story!
The price of diesel is under $3/gallon, but it still costs $100 every time you fill up.
You avoid parking in certain parking lots because the spaces aren’t big enough.
The local gas station operator turns on the air machine when he sees you pull in.
You know exactly how many bales of hay fit in your vehicle.
You can look under your floor mats and trace the history of last show season.
Your trunk smells a lot like beet pulp.
There is at least one hat rack installed in your vehicle.
If you see a warning sign for clearance, you find a place to turn around.
You choose a restaurant based upon its parking lot, and your table based upon its view of the parking lot.
Clothing
You have more than four “barn jackets.”
Your footwear selection includes at least six pairs of boots.
You have at least ten pairs of jeans, divided into “barn,” “good,” and “show.”
Your everyday attire includes a cell phone holder studded with rhinestones.
The only color-coordinated outfit in your closet includes chaps.
An entire section of your wardrobe is dedicated to horse washing.
On any given day, you are wearing something made by the Carhartt company.
The Quarter Horse Congress is your fashion bellwether.
Personal Grooming
Your horse has a full line of tail care products, a complete wardrobe of tail bags, and a custom-made tail extension, but you can’t remember the last time you had a haircut.
Your horse uses mousse and hairspray, and you don’t.
You are a connoisseur of tiny rubber bands.
Number of items in your horse’s grooming kit – 23. Number of items in your makeup kit: 4 (and one of them is Chapstick).
Your fingernails are sporting splotches of hoof black.
Your horse uses more expensive shampoo than you do.
You used “Cowboy Magic” on your own hair before the ads with the frizzy-haired person came out.
You have ever fly-sprayed yourself – on purpose!
Your teenage daughter asks to borrow your hair spray and you send her out to the horse trailer to look for it.
There are wood shavings at the bottom of your washing machine.
Your house has a “mud room” that actually contains mud.
The vacuum in your barn is used far more frequently than the vacuum in your house.
Horse magazine subscriptions: 12. “Lifestyle” magazine subscriptions: 0.
Tractor Supply ranks high on the list of your favorite stores.
All of your favorite TV shows are on RFD-TV.
Your spouse gives you a “seat saver” for Christmas, and you consider it a really thoughtful gift.
Your horse receives three different types of supplements every day, but you can’t remember to take a daily vitamin.
There is at least one horse product catalog in every bathroom in your home.
Your warehouse club shopping list includes several gallons of corn oil.
The potted plants in front of your barn look a lot better than your houseplants.
You use the same jar of peanut butter for making sandwiches and administering pills.
Your wallet is stolen, and your first concern is your amateur card.
Your house features lots of framed professional photographs of your horses, but you forgot to fill out the order form for your child’s school pictures.
You have a display case dedicated to belt buckles.
You can rattle off the pedigree of every horse on your place, but have no interest in family genealogy.
The most frequently consulted reference book in your home: “The Horse Owner’s Veterinary Manual.”
You will drive all night after work to get to a show on time, but it’s “too far” to visit family who live 50 miles away.
Your clothes dryer’s lint trap contains alfalfa.
The sole contents of your safety deposit box are equine registration papers.
A typical family mealtime discussion includes worming and/or what the cat left on the back steps.
Your grocery list includes Karo syrup, and you have no plans to bake anything.
Your show saddle cost more than your engagement ring.
You are a rat trap expert.
There is a boot scraper outside every door in your home.
Vehicles
The church youth group refuses to take your vehicle at its car wash unless you agree to pay double.
You would never consider paying $50K for a luxury sedan, but a towing vehicle? Now, that’s a different story!
The price of diesel is under $3/gallon, but it still costs $100 every time you fill up.
You avoid parking in certain parking lots because the spaces aren’t big enough.
The local gas station operator turns on the air machine when he sees you pull in.
You know exactly how many bales of hay fit in your vehicle.
You can look under your floor mats and trace the history of last show season.
Your trunk smells a lot like beet pulp.
There is at least one hat rack installed in your vehicle.
If you see a warning sign for clearance, you find a place to turn around.
You choose a restaurant based upon its parking lot, and your table based upon its view of the parking lot.
Clothing
You have more than four “barn jackets.”
Your footwear selection includes at least six pairs of boots.
You have at least ten pairs of jeans, divided into “barn,” “good,” and “show.”
Your everyday attire includes a cell phone holder studded with rhinestones.
The only color-coordinated outfit in your closet includes chaps.
An entire section of your wardrobe is dedicated to horse washing.
On any given day, you are wearing something made by the Carhartt company.
The Quarter Horse Congress is your fashion bellwether.
Personal Grooming
Your horse has a full line of tail care products, a complete wardrobe of tail bags, and a custom-made tail extension, but you can’t remember the last time you had a haircut.
Your horse uses mousse and hairspray, and you don’t.
You are a connoisseur of tiny rubber bands.
Number of items in your horse’s grooming kit – 23. Number of items in your makeup kit: 4 (and one of them is Chapstick).
Your fingernails are sporting splotches of hoof black.
Your horse uses more expensive shampoo than you do.
You used “Cowboy Magic” on your own hair before the ads with the frizzy-haired person came out.
You have ever fly-sprayed yourself – on purpose!
Your teenage daughter asks to borrow your hair spray and you send her out to the horse trailer to look for it.