Equine Advertising Translation Guide
This “guide” is meant for fun and laughs, but there may be a kernel of truth in some of these definitions, so watch out for them! Have some of your own? Send them to us along with your name, city and state and we’ll publish them here.
Term or PhraseFit
Rides with just a halter 1200 pounds Suitable for lady or child Reining prospect Barrel horse, free runner Barrel horse, push style Strings to 16.2 Lead liner 15.2HH 16.0HH All offers considered Always in the ribbons Anyone can ride Athletic Attention-getting Barrel prospect Big boned Big stride Big trot Black Bold Bombproof Breathtaking Broodmare prospect Can be registered Can be stubborn at times Children’s hunter Clips, hauls and loads Coursing 3’ Cow bred Cutting prospect Dead quiet Draft type Dressage prospect Easy breeder Easy keeper Easy to catch Elegant Endurance prospect Eventing prospect Excellent disposition Finances force sale Flashy Free jumps Fun trail mount Gaited Good ground manners Good mother Good mover Great for the farrier Great project Green Gymkhana prospect Halter prospect Hand raised Has been shown Health forces sale Home bred Hunter prospect Imprinted at birth In training Jumper prospect Kid safe/Kid broke Lack of time forces sale Light cribber Lots of potential Loves children Loves to cuddle Loves people Loves to work Must sell Needs a bit of finishing work Needs advanced rider Needs a strong rider Needs quiet rider Never stops at fences Nicely started No time for him No vices Parelli trained Pony type Price available upon request Priced to sell Private treaty Professionally trained Protective mother Proven broodmare Quarter Horse type Quiet Pasture horse Ready to start Recent vet check/X-rays Reining prospect Sacrifice Sadly outgrown Schoolmaster Serious inquiries only Serviceably sound Show quality Shown successfully Sound Spirited Sporthorse Stallion prospect Started on cows Started over fences Started under saddle Still growing To good home only To loving home only To show home only Trail horse Vet checks welcome Warmblood type Well-bred Well-mannered Western pleasure prospect Will mature to 15.2H Will mature to 16HH |
TranslationBe prepared to buy lots of groceries! by: Sherrie Nichols
He'll head-slap your brains out if you try to bridle him Weighs 950 pounds If divorce isn't an option, here's Plan "B" Failed cutter Hard to keep in the arena Never under 20 seconds I have no idea where to measure, but I do have a string Do NOT turn a child loose on this one! 14.3HH — Just a bit too big to qualify for a pony card 15.2HH (with shoes on) I’ll be in traction for the next six months, and my spouse has just left home and taken the kids (1) As long as there are no more than six horses in the class. (2) The shows we attended gave away complimentary rosettes to everyone who entered. Dead lame (1) Likes to run around the pasture, but hasn’t done a thing. (2) Runaway. See also “Bold” and “Good mover.” No one will miss you with this horse’s stunning bad habits Runs in circles — fast Without a mane and tail, this horse could easily be mistaken for a cow Whoa, dammit, whoa!! Can’t canter within a two-mile straightaway Brown Runaway. See also “Good mover” and “Athletic.” (1) Won’t move, under any circumstances, without a crop AND spurs. (2) Lame on all four legs, deaf and blind. Spectators gasp when they see this horse buck, rear, etc. Not sound or broke, but might be fertile Owner may remember which stud got loose Mule 14.2HH Clippity clippity is the sound his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking lot when you try to load him When drugged to the eyeballs and lunged for six hours immediately beforehand Too bad the horse is afraid of cows Cuts and runs when startled Lame in all four legs. See also “Quiet.” Exceedingly big, coarse and hairy. See also “Warmblood type.” He’s a fire-breathing dragon over fences For stallions, will mount anything that stands still long enough. For mares, always seems to be in heat. Fat Ancient and dead lame Skinny Keeps going and going and going, just the like the Energizer bunny Big and fast with no brakes Has never left the stable Horse drove owner to the poor house Your life will flash before your eyes when you ride him Jumps out of his paddock and jumps on the longe line, but does not jump under saddle You’ll never be bored, but you might have to walk back to the barn on your own two feet Make that “gated” — has run through the arena gate, the pasture gate… But don’t try to ride him Thank goodness, because it’s the only thing she’s good at! (1) Runaway. See also “Athletic” and “Bold.” (2) Only stumbles occasionally these days Owner was reaching trying to find good qualities to advertise Has big-time issues (see also “lots of potential”) Anything from “has had a rider on — once — and bucked him off” to “only jumping 2'6"” Hyper and needs a tiedown Not broke to ride. Probably not halter broken, either. And spoiled rotten! See also “Home bred.” But didn’t win anything Horse made current owner crazy Has never left home (1) Won’t go slow enough for Western Pleasure. (2) Should be on the track. See “hand raised” Horse needs professional help Jumps out of his pasture regularly As long as your kid has a Velcro butt! Owner can’t afford to spend any more time in the hospital We couldn’t afford to build any more stalls and fences for this equine chainsaw Hasn’t done a thing Especially for breakfast! Will knock you over when she tries to use you as a scratching post Especially when they are feeding him and not asking him to do anything that resembles work If he doesn’t get out every day, he’ll tear down the barn. Get your longe line ready… Price negotiable. See also “Any offers considered.” See “green” and “great project” Such as a professional bronc rider Preferably with nerves of steel Will run off at the slightest provocation Including the arena fence, the paddock fence, the neighbors’ fences… Longes, but we don’t have enough insurance to ride him Horse is lucky to be fed (1) No attributes, either. (2) Especially when he wears his muzzle. Owner bought a rope halter and some videos Small and hairy If you have to ask, you can’t afford him Owner can’t get rid of this horse fast enough See “price available upon request” Owner shelled out big bucks, regardless of how little the horse knows now Will attack anyone who comes within a three-stall radius As long you care more about quantity than quality Stout Lame in both front legs. See also “Dead Quiet.” Will kick a new door in his stall to get outside Riding age, but hasn’t done a thing Some other poor buyer paid big bucks to find out what is wrong with this horse (1) Skids to a stop right before running into the fence. (2) Spins and runs when startled. Family won’t come back home until he’s gone Owner traded up Been there, done that, annoyed at having to do it again and again Overpriced Even with very expensive care, almost always lame But has never been to a show (1) Horse and rider got in and out of the arena in one piece (mostly). (2) Won a reserve championship five years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a hurricane. Sound today… Psychotic Cross-breed, probably with draft blood Rank stud colt that owner doesn’t want to spend the money to geld Turned out in pasture with cows Walked over ground poles. Tripped. Has had saddle on (but no rider) 14.2HH now, but hope springs eternal Not really for sale unless you will pay twice what he is worth and sign a 10-page legal document allowing current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night Expensive Very expensive (1) Ring sour (2) Current owner is a good enough rider to keep this horse between him and ground for most rides. You may not be so skilled/lucky. Please help us figure out what the heck is wrong with this horse Big, coarse and hairy. See also “Draft type.” (1) Too bad he didn’t inherit any of his forebears’ good traits. (2) Sire and dam are also brother and sister. Hasn’t stepped on, run over, bitten or kicked anyone in almost a week Too slow for gymkhana 14HH now at the age of four Currently 14 hands, dam is 14.2HH, sire is 14.3HH |